David Shade is the author of whats generally considered the best sex manual in the community.. called David Shade's Manual. Highly recommended.
Here's one of his earlier posts that are recommended advice for newbies (or even experienced PUAs) on eye contact.
> I've been reading the many helpful posts by all the experienced
> I was wondering how the experts utilize eye contact. Do you guys when
> you first see a girl you like try to establish eye contact? What
> happens after you get eye contact? For some reason, when I make eye
> contact with a girl, I feel like I'm violting her in some sort of way.
> It's as if a girl can sense that I'm lusting after her with my eyes.
That's what you want her to sense.
I posted this once, and I will cut and paste it again...
Eye Contact Experiment
I asked one woman friend of mine "why did you go out with him?"
and she replied: "because when I looked at him he kept eye contact with
When I recall the very successful people I have had the pleasure of working for in the
corporate world, I remember that they all maintained eye contact while speaking to me.
When you watch somebody successful being interviewed on TV, like Scott McNealy of
Sun, you notice that they never look away from their interviewer's eyes
and they rarely blink.
You are approaching a chick in the hall as you walk towards each other. When should
you look at her? (Her eyes, silly. If you look at anything else, it's over.) I have tried
combinations. If I wait until the last instant, I either find she is not looking, or, if
looking, she quickly looks away. If I look at her and she looks at me and I look away,
then she never looks again. Then I tried something bold and decide I will look at her
eyes the entire time. To my amazement, she gazes like a deer into headlights. Never
breaks eye contact. So I decide to try this little experiment.
Recently I spent a week attending meetings in one of our buildings filled with educated
successful professional women in their 20's and 30's. Most are definitely doable. Some
are gorgeous. Some are married, some are not. I spent my time between meetings trying
this: I would pick a different floor and I would walk down each hall, walking just
to the right of center. When I saw a woman walking towards me, I maintained looking at
her eyes. Only the heavy ones did not keep looking. But for all the others, including the
gorgeous ones, they maintained eye contact the entire time. I never blinked. They never
blinked. They broke eye contact only when we were just about next to each other. I
broke eye contact only after she did. What really amazed me was that by the time we
passed, almost every chick had broken a smile. Some even said "Hi." I did not smile or
say Hi until they first did.
These halls were not long. Each woman was no farther than 30 feet away when I first
saw her. But what if it had been a very long hall? How far down the hall should I start
looking at her eyes? I certainly don't want to scare her. I look straight ahead, and then
when she is about 30 feet away, I start looking into her eyes.
I then went to the mall a few times to try the experiment there. Most did not look at all.
Of those who did look, most only looked for a second. Only about a third locked on. Of
those, about half broke a smile or said Hi. A couple of them where so moved that they
Do you have to be walking? I tried the experiment while sitting. Almost none maintained
eye contact. Do they have to be walking? While I was walking I would look at any
chicks who were sitting. The results were the same as if we were both walking.
If I was approaching two chicks, and looked from one to the other, I lost them both. So,
if I am in such a situation, I lock onto one and I don't change my mind.
If I smiled or said Hi, while she was still looking at me, but before she smiled or said
it would usually result in my loosing her. On rare instances did it make her smile and say
Hi with enthusiasm. So, I never smile or say Hi until she first does so, and I smile if
smiles and say Hi if she says Hi.
If she did not lock eye contact with me, I would go ahead and say Hi when she got close
to me. In many instances she would then enthusiastically turn to me and smile and say Hi.
I would also look at chicks who were with a man if he was not looking in my general
direction. I was surprised at the number of times that she would lock on and actually
I noticed that the better I dressed, or the sexier I dressed, the better I did. I noticed
the women who looked where better dressed then those who did not.
Eye contact in a bar is an entire science in itself. When done correctly, it can be
Real players never stare. They lock eye contact. There is a difference between
staring and locking eye contact. They are two totally different things.
When you look at a woman, here is what you do. Lock eye contact with her. Don't
blink. Don't look at her friend. Pick one eye and don't let go. You only get one chance
at this. Don't give up. Don't smile. Don't say anything. You are telling her that you are
interested in her and you are not intimidated by her. Then leave it up to her. You will be
amazed at the staring capability that women posses.
She is thinking "Who is this guy to be so bold as to continue looking at me while I look
at him? Now this is interesting. He is different." She knows that if she lets go now, she
will loose you. She will go one of two ways. If she wants to loose you, she will break
eye contact and look away. If she does not want to loose you, but is instead intrigued by
what you are doing, she knows that she has to eventually end the stare down and she
will have to make the move. She will have to either smile or say Hi.
If she smiles, you smile. If she says Hi, you say Hi. Don't say Hello. Then you reward
her and make your move.
Of course, you don't always have to wait for eye contact to make your move.
Credit - David Shade website