Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Addressing womens' emotional needs

I've found that for a lot of people (including me), at times their PU game is tight. But their relationship management skills suck bigtime. This article by Frank B Kermit (from the montreal lair) helps address womens emotional needs and makes hooking relationships that much easier.

Frank has several books on and the one where he speaks about addressing womens emotional needs (there are 10 of them) 'Everything out of her mouth is a test' is the pick of the bunch. An excellent matrix-aware treatise on relationship management.

Other matrix aware books on relationship management would be (in no particular order):

Franco's excellent ebook on Seduction for Husbands and Players
David Deida's Way of the Superior Man
Mark Cunningham's Building a Better Girlfriend (bit hypnotic and sneaky for my tastes, but seems to be pretty solid)

So enough babble - here's the good stuff

How and Why Women Test Men and About What...

Here it is: My Frank B Kermit Philosophy on Men, Women and Relationships and the definition of a test.
A TEST: is when a woman says or does something, specifically to evoke a reaction out of a man, whether verbal or action based. It is a SUB-CONSCIOUS mechanism that a woman uses to find out about what kind of man she is dealing with. It is the predictor and basis for all sexual attraction and love she will have for a man. Every test is designed to make her feel special (your lover) when a man passes it, or makes her feel un-special (thus turns her into your mother) if you fail it.

At least, that is how I see it.

During the process of my development, I went searching for one or two unifying themes to apply as a rule when I attempted to analyze relationships between men and women.

I came up with the following:

The Frank B Kermit theory:

1-Everything out of her mouth is a test (even when it is not, treat it as so anyways)
2-A woman can only fit into 1 OF 2 roles in any mans life. Mother or Lover.
3-She constantly tests you to see what role she should follow
4-Within each test is an emotional need being communicated
5-If you address the emotional need, you pass the test, she feels attracted to you, she gets to be your lover and you have sex
6-If you do not address the emotional need, you fail the test, she loses attraction to you, she is forced to assume the role of your mother and you do not get sex

and the final part to this:

7-A women always tests because her instinct to mother is stronger than her instincts for sex

I have identified 10 emotional-need categories, but for the purposes of this book, I will only list the category names here, and not a lengthy description of each.

The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation

2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid

4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the mans fault

5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.

6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a womans reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.

7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman

9-Prove that you have high quality sperm by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a good catch and he kids with you will also be a good catch enough to also attract a mate.

10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?

Regardless of what she tests you with, if you can spot one of these ten emotional needs in-between her words and you address that need by your communication and actions, you will pass the test, and she will by default feel attraction for you, and desire to be your lover.

I think what happens in most relationships is that a man attracts a woman as his lover, and over time, she becomes more like his mother to him, thus sacrificing her attraction to him. In my unscientific-based opinion, that is when the relationship starts to die.

That is my theory anyways. So far, it has worked for me

(Credit - Frank B Kermit at
Get his book on relationship management 'Everything Out of Her Mouth is a TEST: A Man's Guide to Satisfying the Emotional Needs of Women'


Artisan said...

I'm a member of the Frank B Kermit lair in Toronto and I have to say the Emotional Needs model has help me understand women like never before.
I would recommend studying the ENs to any pua-in-training or seducer-in-training.

Ash @ said...

This is basically ALL you need, and the only thing you need. It's a complete system. Forget about all the pocket-driven regurgitated seduction material out there. I spent a few thousand on bootcamp and other materials, BUT the $50 for this book is by far leaps and bounds the BEST purchase period because of it's contributing value to my success of wanting to have choice in women; isn't that what it's all about? Choice. Frank's Ten Emotional Needs model is very easy to learn and apply. This book should be a staple in any man's library whether or not he's in the game.

Ash @

Unknown said...

Number 6 should be moved to the top of the list. Trust and honesty are by far the most important emotional needs of a woman. If that fails, all the rest doesn't even matter.

Mix said...

If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

Insert subject line here and link it to: Your ex won’t be able to resist?

Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Insert subject line here and link it to: Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

Thanks again.