Saturday, 19 January 2008

Relationship rules

Tubarao with some excellent field tested rules about relationship management

Rules Revisited

0.) All rules can be broken if you're EXPERIENCED.

1.) Time spent together
FB - Only see once a week.
MLTR - 2 - 3x a week. Even if she's the only girl you're [currently] fucking, you still have to schedule her with the idea that you need nights free to fuck/sarge other women (+ nights for yourself).
LTR - See as often as you'd like, but don't move in together unless you marry. A "test run" will not give an accurate indication of what it will be like to live with her once you are married. As long as you are not married, there's the possibility of you NEXTing her, which is harder to do if she's living with you.

2.) Communication
FB - Only call for sex. 50/50 calls are ideal, but it doesn't actually matter, as long as you stick to whatever precedent you set.
MLTR and LTR- At least 50/50 is necessary, although higher on her end is preferable. Mental NEXT after two unanswered messages/calls.

3.) Sharing personal info
FB - Don't answer any personal questions (except regarding contagious diseases, etc.). She is not your girlfriend.
MLTR - Don't answer any questions regarding the other women you're seeing. Sub-communicate only!
LTR - Make sure there's always something about you for her to wonder about... Also, do not enter into a frame of accounting for every time that you are apart! Have your own life.

4.) Never talk about the other women you are fucking, although talking about it abstractly in the form of Rich Descriptions is ok!

5.) Non-sex time
FB - Avoid casually hanging out together. If you run into her, treat as normal. No PDA (except your usual KINO that you use on all women). No dates (movies, dinner, coffee, walks, picnics, etc.)!
MLTR - A "date" counts as time spent together, even if you don't end up having sex, as pertains to rule 1. Most encounters should end in sex. If she starts withdrawing sex, and treating as shit test fails, downgrade or NEXT (also pertains to LTR).

6.) Maintain your frame! Regardless of FB or (M)LTR, you should have the same frame as the day she met you. If you develop one-itis, GFTOW immediately.

7.) Monogamy
FB and MLTR - If she communicates a desire for monogamy, upgrade or NEXT immediately. If she demands monogamy, NEXT her immediately.
LTR - Monogamy must be clearly stated. Don't assume monogamy, as this puts you in a double-bind: If you fuck someone else, she gets mad, if you DON'T fuck anyone else, you become betaized, and the whole time she's free to fuck others.

8.) Fuck her good and hard. Hot sex is KEY, and can alleviate many problems.

9.) As Franco says, "put her to do things for you." Make her bring you things, cook for you, give you massages, etc. She should be compliant. This is especially important for LTR.


By category:

LD - FB only! It seems counter-intuitive that an LD woman could be an FB, but that's the ONLY position that she should even be considered for. LTR with an LD woman is doomed.

HD - Make sure your sex drives are compatible.

LSE/Freak - FB only!!!!!! If I read one more post about someone whining about how their LTR with a Freak is going shitty, I'm going to pound my head into the wall.

HSE Freak/ Libertine - Whatever you call this type of woman, she should be an FB only. "Squishy" FB is ok (FB + friend/ pivot). Frame must be ROCK SOLID.

MD or MSE (normal girls in early 20's) - Screen heavily to see if she's suitable for (M)LTR. If you can't tell, assume LSE and/or LD; better to err on the side of caution (and no, you're not giving up on her out of paranoia; she can still make an awesome fun FB).

Ho - FB. MLTR is possible only if she already has a rich boyfriend. If she NEXTs her rich boyfriend, downgrade her.

Masculine woman - FB only. Every woman is at least a little masculine, but one who is excessively so will eventually drain you (think Hillary Clinton; do you want to be in an LTR with her? Ugh).

Good girl - Screen (a lot) to be sure. Good for everything!

Woman with boyfriend - Nothing changes. He doesn't matter.

Married woman - Don't communicate in any way that's stored. Set a procedure by which you get in touch/ get together. Never bring her to your place, in case she gets attached/psycho. Don't go to places that either of you frequent. Don't ask about her husband or children. Never fuck a married woman in your social circle. The relationship should be purely about sex. If a woman suggest leaving her husband for you, NEXT her immediately. Follow the rest of the FB rules.

Marriage - I have never been married, and I don't believe in marriage. If it is something that you desire, then consider this advice with a grain of salt. As far as I see it, you should only get married to have children, in which case you are choosing to sacrifice a piece of your independence for the sake of procreation. Good for you.

In any Relationship - Zero expectations. Always positive. Never react emotionally (be AWARE of your emotions, and APPRECIATE the positive emotions that you experience and share them with her; don't be a robot; negative emotions are a waste of time). Always busy (with things you genuinely enjoy). You love your life and you are allowing her a place in it. Always lead. Never be fearful. Never see her as perfect. Always be ready to NEXT her (again, this isn't about emotional detachment, this is about only choosing to be with her when both of you are enriched by it; if it becomes a negative thing for EITHER of you, NEXT her). Only think about her when you're with her. Be non-reactive; be non reaction-seeking (and follow all the rest of TD's 25 points and normal PU practices).

NEXTing above also includes soft nexts. Use as appropriate/ based on your skill.

Before you enter into an LTR, you have to have experienced MLTRs. Before you enter into an MLTR, you have to have experienced FBs. Before you have FBs, you have to have a complete life that fulfills you and makes you happy. Most men do this exactly in reverse and suffer at every single step of the way.

And remember rule 0, but don't break rules simply for the sake of breaking them. These are rules that you impose on YOURSELF until you learn to have an unshakable frame. If you break a rule and suffer from it (read 99% of posts on this board), then it is your own stupid fault.

And for those who think I sound like a misogynist: I love women. They are beautiful and incredible creatures.

EDIT (thanks Humbledad):
My definitions:
Next = Stop having sex
Hard Next = Next and cut off communication
Soft Next = Next and continue communication
Mental Next = Taking just the mental steps of a Next.
Downgrade = Go from (M)LTR to FB.
Zan = Soft Next or downgrade with the deliberate intention of rekindling the relationship.


Credit - Tubarao off MASF

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